Today, November 29, 2020

 This makes me so happy! Today marks the official Advent season....and it brings an expectancy, not unlike expecting a child! Except the child is the Saviour of the world, a long awaited kinsman redeemer. 

Everything hearkens to preparing for that birthday arrival. Our food, our decorating, our get-togethers (even in the midst of this pandemic!) all lead toward December 25th.

We know that because of baby Jesus, there will be no more tests, sorrow, or death...and we will live forever with Him and all those we love who have accepted him as their Saviour. That is what gives us the hope we awaken with each day of this glorious season.

In His love,

Cindy

 I remembered this morning that I used to "blog." I remembered that it used to be a fulfilling experience for me to write, but I could not remember how to even get to my blogger account! The search bar in Safari helped me when I typed in "my blog" and "my blogger account" popped up, and I was able to connect. I used to blog when we lived in the ok'd house at my desktop computer, which is now outdated, unused and sits downstairs. It is time to reawaken all my creative outlets! So here goes....

A lot has happened in five years. The twins--Preston and Vivian were born, Rivera was born, and  Amelie was born. I switched teaching first grade to third grade, we moved 16 months ago. Tom retired from the oilfield, took a break from working a d is now employed at Sizewise.

This is my first day of Thanksgiving vacation...and I have so much to process. Teaching in a year with Covid-19 (on-site) has been a lot of pressure. Last spring we went remote in March, and that was hard enough to learn an all new way of teaching, and to worry about walking out of your house and getting coronavirus. However, what we did not know, was that circumstances would get much worse, and our community was actually pretty safe from the virus at that time.

Now the virus is wreaking havoc in our county, and numbers are going up, up, up, and schools are still open. Research shows not many people (thank heaven) are getting Covid in the schools. It is just the fear of what "might" happen or "could" happen, and keeping everyone safe.

Having said all that, here I am on one of the first vacations this year--perusing the meaning of life, what I need to do today, and what I need to do to thrive (not just survive)--long term. And I hope it is long-term! Lately, my health has been taking a hit, and self-care has had to come to the forefront, in the way of taking vitamins again, drinking water, and exercising.

My major questions in life are:

1. How can I get more time with my family and still stay organized?

2. How can I do well in my teaching career yet put it on the shelf evenings, weekends, and holidays?

3. What do I need to do to get in shape and stay that way?

4. How can I pare down, and donate or sell a lot of things, when I typically have no time because I am either working or exhausted?

5. Does God have one more dream for me to fulfill?

Until I write again, these questions go unanswered, or at least partially unanswered. Seeking Him in prayer....and very very grateful for a day off, my warm home, my husband and family and abundant lifelong blessings from the giver of all givers--my Heavenly Father. Bless you, God, this Thanksgiving week.

More Spring Thoughts

Last time I wrote about spring and new things to come. Today I am writing about waiting! We wait for warm temperatures, grass to turn green, flowers to bloom, seeds to germinate, and for me--school to be out. I enjoy that time when I can plan my own days and have time to do things I want to do.Those things are usually cleaning and organizing, but still, it doesn't seem like work when you are the one instigating it.
However, it gets me thinking about what I want in life, and what I am really waiting for. I am 57 years old, and still waiting. What is it I want God to bring about in my life? What is it that He has for me that is not fulfilled yet? Just what is it that I am really waiting for, and is it even something that will be realized on this earth?
Those questions cannot be answered by me. I just continue to seek Him, and obey Him day by day. I have had some victories in the past few years...for example--the deep-seated insecurity I lived with is abating. I am more confident to go into a crowd, and hold my head high, rather than thinking about my failures and what I am "not." Some of my past failures weren't even caused by me, but by someone else's sin, so why have I allowed those things to affect who I am for so long?
Even though I am still waiting on the Lord to bring some things to pass in my life, my focus needs to be on what God wants me to do in His power. So I continue to have hope, impart hope to others, knit the family together, make my home a place of refuge for my husband and family, be joyful, and WAIT. It is not over and many good things are yet to come this side of heaven.

Spring Fever

No matter how old I get, I can still experience spring fever! It is a feeling of wanting "new" in my life....making changes, seeing the dawn instead of the dark, and experiencing hope of new things to come, rather than the sameness of winter and work.

This spring has been a special spring because of  our baby news. We knew Chelsea was expecting, but on Friday, March 13, we found out she is expecting TWINS!....a boy AND a girl. I am so excited I could burst. For the past week I have felt a calmness and a peace that is coming to our family with these new lives. I have been a grandmother for seven and a half years, and am grandmother to four (his & mine!) but these two are "closing the deal" on my experience in being a grandmother. It is the difference between being new and seasoned. I will have to step up my game!

This news is causing me to nest--as a grandmother. I will have to be more organized and streamlined than ever to handle bigger family dinners, holidays, and balancing work, home, and relationships. It is also a realization that life is not practice, but time is ticking by and I need to make the most of each day and the time I have been given.

Lord, is there a Grandmother's Prayer? Make me more gentle, more patient, more giving, more humble, more alive, and more aware. Be with me and our family as we venture into this new territory and new season.

Spring always comes. It is always a season of expectancy and new life. It is our hope in the resurrected life. Jesus, it is all because of you! 💐🐣⛪️

Life

How do the "daily" bloggers do it? I haven't posted since last April....I don't have what I consider is an "ordinary" life, though. Most people my age are winding down in their careers, enjoying their homes and their grandchildren, and are looking toward financial freedom in the near future. In many ways, my life is like that of people in their twenties and thirties....I have begun many new ventures including returning to classroom teaching in public school, getting my ESL certification, remodeling the preschool addition into a rec room, and still continuing on the journey toward preparing for retirement financially, but in no way seeing that time on the horizon. Whew! One of my favorite phrases from my grandmother was "It's a great life if you don't weaken." STAYING STRONG!

In many ways, my transfer by the district to teaching First Grade at Washington has been like moving to a foreign country. This is the closest to being a missionary that I have ever come. The culture and socioeconomic status of the students is different, the home language is different, the accent is different, the customs are different, the climate of the school is different, and the teachers and administration is different. Different is not bad, different is just something to adapt to and learn to fit in with. So far, I have been like a duck out of water, but I am trying to fit in. One of the biggest changes I made was to try and be more social, and less work-oriented. My natural nature is to stay in my classroom and complete more tasks for my classroom and students. But if I do that, I won't get to know the teachers and develop the bond that is necessary for working as a team. I am really trying to be a team member!

Another challenge I have had is to be less judgmental and replace it with grace and forgiveness. One of the most important articles I have ever read from Kenneth Copeland was in the recent partner letter when he challenged believers to forgive. The way he uses the word is not in the traditional sense--a moment of forgiveness, but to LIVE forgiveness. To go in to work every day and say "I forgive the students, I forgive the teachers, I forgive the administration, I forgive the parents" and I added one yesterday--"I forgive myself."

I will keep "keeping on " for Jesus. I couldn't do this without Him. He is my Savior. He has commissioned me for this, though  i have tried to deny it. As I sit here with a stack of books for planning measuring one foot high, and my whole house is in a dirty, cluttered state, I commit this day to Him. Be with me Jesus, as I live out this day for You, and plan the upcoming week with You in mind.

Holiness

What a wonderful day "Easter Monday" is...there is a holiness, a feel of spring and new birth and new beginnings...As I look out the window at the rose-colored blossoms and smell the faint smell of an overnight rain, I am reminded of God's provision and deep care for His children.

Springtime, and particularly Easter and stopping to recognize the death and resurrection of our Lord, Jesus Christ is a time to pause and BELIEVE. So many times on a daily basis, I am running from one activity to another. First: getting ready for work, then full days teaching, then errands, then supper, dishes, laundry, preparing for the next day, and trying to catch some sleep before doing it all again! Weekends never seem long enough, and are filled with family activities, technology to update or handle, problems to solve....and the list goes on. Rarely do I take time to exercise or do things for myself, and praying and time with God is usually on the run!

So on this glorious spring day, I am taking time to reflect on God's goodness, His mercy, His plan for us, His righteousness, and His love. He is allowing me to have this day to devote to seeing Him in everything. The struggle is over, the finished work of Jesus on the cross, and the light of His heavenly body and realm is shining brightly into the dark areas.

The things that have been worrying me--the local drought, the financial hit we took, the near loss of my husband's life in a truck accident, the state of affairs and deficit for our local school district, friends who are suffering with health issues, job loss, rebellious children, and an uncertain future of America in general--is all paling in comparison with the hope of Jesus returning and eternal life granted. I am ready to face the day, the challenges, and the future. My future is in His hands. As the poster above says, once you trust Him, the more you'll open up your hands in absolute obedience. I am saying "yes" to God today and for His plan for today, a day of "holiness."

Defining Moments

There have been several defining moments, or turning points in my adult life. After a crisis that is difficult to overcome, there comes a time when one "turns a corner" through a natural process of healing, a sudden deliverance, or a revelation that life is worth living again. I believe that I have just reached another of those defining moments. In my adult life, there have been two other times of great crisis--when my first husband and I divorced, and when my mom died last summer. The latest crisis has been over an estate disagreement with a non-family member.

As any crisis or grief goes...it tends to consume your life. There is seemingly nothing else that matters, or that you can even think about during the time. Everything points in one direction--what is wrong. You wake up with bad dreams, night sweats, panicky feelings, and then in the daytime, all thoughts turn toward either solving the problem, or managing your emotions, or even just putting one foot in front of another.

But then one day, a crack in the blackness appears, and a light shines through. It may just be a small glimmer of light at first, or it may appear as a whole glorious day dawning, but when that light permeates the darkness and hope comes again, life takes on meaning again. Praise the Lord! And I have found in these terribly difficult circumstances I can pray and pray, I can use every tip in the book to try to overcome out-of-control emotions, read and watch all the latest advice on healing and stress-relief, and try every possible thing to hasten the process, but then God applies the healing balm of Gilead in the heavenly realm, and a defining moment--a turning point--happens. For this I am grateful...for a never-ending, never-giving-up LOVE that knows just when to deliver His precious child from the storm of life. Maybe He has been waiting on my revelation that life is indeed more than the crisis at hand, or maybe He just knows when intense suffering should end, or maybe He was just waiting on me to pray for the person who is opposing me. His ways are higher than my ways. All I know is that I feel a calm, a peace, an understanding, a revelation that God "has this," and this too shall pass. In fact, it already has. A new day has dawned,, the sun is shining brightly, and I have so much hope that my future is much brighter than the recent past.This situation will no longer define me. God has important work for me to do, and He needs me to trust in Hiim and in His mightly power to accomplish His purposes through me.

When people say "trust in Jesus" it can sometimes feel like a shallow statement. If you can truly trust in Jesus, He will bring a defining moment that He is all that matters.