Laughing, and other musings

Today, Oprah and Gayle had me laughing on their "bestie" show. I agree, there is nothing like a best friend. Michelle & Chelsea are my best girlfriends, and Tom & Cameron are my best guy friends. I am so glad to have my best friends in my family, but I am also so blessed to have other "girlfriend besties" who aren't in my family. What is better than laughing, feeling totally 100% yourself, and having fun times or share memories?

When the producers questioned Oprah about leaving the show, she said she wasn't tired of the show, she is TIRED! I can totally relate. I am not tired of teaching, and the joys associated with being with kids each day, I am just TIRED. (Also...tired of bad behavior, I guess). Can I teach without disciplining? I hope so. After this semester, I am one-third of the way through my 19 credit hour program to get my reading endorsement. Thank you, Jesus!

I had a conversation with Dwayne of Dwayne's Designs on calling Easter Sunday

Resurrection Sunday

instead. I like that! There were many druid (anti-religious) customs that are now associated with Easter, but the resurrection power of Christ Jesus is what Christians focus on at this time. So, although bunnies, eggs, candy, and ham are all good and fun, it is about Him. Have a blessed Resurrection Sunday!

"The Ugly Cry" originated by Oprah

Oprah has me in tears again. Every day of her last month on t.v., I cry! Today there was a couple on who had gone through in-vitro fertilization and gave birth to stillborn boys at 5 1/2 months. Then they miscarried another child. They had almost given up when the mother of the young woman offered to have the embryo planted in her womb, and carry the baby for her daughter and son-in-law. She was 61, had been menopausal for 10 years, and was newly retired. It was a miracle! The baby was full-term and delivered by caesarean after 30 hours of labor. Amazing, and a miracle! I feel that kind of love for my kids and grandkids--the kind that would do anything...The grandmother was so humble about what she had done.

Then if that weren't enough to tear at my heart, a family was on the show whose baby daughter was gravely ill and needed a heart transplant. They were giving up hope when another mother 4 states away was experiencing her son's serious illness. He didn't make it. The mother donated her baby boy's heart and it was flown to the hospital where the baby girl was and transplanted. It was successful! I cried again. Oh, Oprah, 27 more days?

Saturdays

I get so excited by Saturdays, I wake up at 5:30 a.m. thinking of all the things I want to do! I always start with getting cozy in bed (after Tom gets up)--two pillows, flannel nightgown, heating pad, books and magazines, laptop and most importantly--coffee...then I strategize. On Cozi.com I type in my goals for the day and for the week. Shopping lists are made, and I make notes on anything I need to remember in detail. After the morning "work" is done, I gather my bible, my devotionals and start reading, praying and asking God for His divine help in my life. I am a sheep listening for the shepherd's voice. Jesus is my shepherd and He leads me to greener pastures!

My former pastor told me I was like the woman in the bible who had an issue of blood for 12 years. When she saw Jesus walking through the street, she crawled to touch the hem of His garment. She knew if she could just reach that hem and touch Him, she would be healed. And she was. There are so many hopes, dreams and desires in my heart--and if I can touch Jesus, I will have them by faith.

Saturdays and Sundays are gifts from God to go before Him and pour out my heart, and in return receive His mercies, grace and tender care. Saturdays...I pray my plans and dreams glorify my Father in heaven.

Old Saying

There is an old saying "I can't see the forest for the trees." I feel like that is the situation I have been in lately. Doggedly, I have been working away day after day, feeling exhausted, and yet wondering what is wrong with me. We have had 4 busy weekends, and no rest time on the weekends, and I seriously haven't sat in my basement (where we relax) for weeks! Tom hasn't been sleeping well, therefore I haven't been sleeping well, and yet I just keep wondering why in the world I am "totaled."
It was no accident that God told us to work 6 days, and rest on the 7th. I haven't been heeding His call, or following His commandments. I have a commitment this Saturday to help with a shower and next weekend to go to Wichita for my brother's 50th birthday, and a reading research paper due on April 29th, but if I can just hold on a bit longer, it will soon be May 24th. I have so many hopes and dreams for this summer including seeing all my kids, seeing Carson and Easton more than I have this school year, and cleaning things out. If my foot surgery goes well, I can still get a few things done for home and also preschool.
Praise God we are debt-free, and even though I don't make any money in the summer like I did when I was employed by the district, we can still make it. Praise God! He is so good and showing me ways to prosper.
Check out pandora.com--type in Shekinah Glory Ministry as the "station." It is absolutely beautiful worship music and about the only thing I have been listening to each day. Since I was a little girl, I have been drawn to African-American spiritual music and movies. Love, love, love it!!!
Just while typing this post, I can now see the forest, instead of not being able to see it because of the trees! In other words,my mental clarity has improved and I see that I haven't taken the time God wanted me to take to rest in Him. Thank you, Jesus, for never giving up on me.

My Bliss

A conversation with Chelsea a while ago about identity and being true to yourself, led me to thinking about who I am and what my deepest desires are. Whenever I rewrite my vision for my perfect life, it always includes beauty. I love having beautiful things, making beautiful things, and recognizing beauty in people (internal and external) and in the environment--whether natural (nature) or created (homes, businesses, etc). It's kind of a funny story--how I started thinking about this today. A mom and daughter and her two small children visited us to deliver a product I had ordered. It kind of embarassed the grandmother and mom when the 4-year-old came in and said "wow, this is nice." They apologized and explained that their priorities are elsewhere, not on furniture or decorating.I kind of felt like I had to apologize for being a neat freak; because during the conversation I said I'd had a lot of family here the day before, and messes and fingerprints, but I wasn't one to leave it--I like to get things back to my "normal," which is organized and clean. When Chelsea was telling me the conversation she had with her friend (the daughter) today, she was explaining how her friend said her mom told her she is sorry for not having a nicer place for her to visit, and that her mom doesn't try to be someone she is not. Chelsea said "my mom doesn't try to be someone she is not either, for as long as I can remember, she would rather clean the toilet even if it's not really dirty, or work on something in her house." Chelsea said to me--"I know you don't like to watch t.v.", and that has been pretty much true for my whole life. For me, t.v. is wasting time I could use in doing something productive.

All this led me to thinking about how it is o.k. to be who we are. I crave beauty--spiritual beauty, physical beauty, and peace. My bliss is cleanliness, decorating, and organization. A perfect night would be to sit in a just-cleaned room and knit or read a deep book!

A movie Tom and I watched one night had a "stager" in it. She was a helper to the realtor. She would go into a vacated home and bring in furniture and decorations and "stage" the place so it looked as if a family or couple lived there, so it would sell. I am a "stager." I would love to be a "stager" after I retire from preschool/teaching. I could "stage" for a magazine, a realty company, or private individuals having a party. Attention to detail is one of my gifts, and this is my bliss. I don't have to apologize!!! :)