A conversation with Chelsea a while ago about identity and being true to yourself, led me to thinking about who I am and what my deepest desires are. Whenever I rewrite my vision for my perfect life, it always includes beauty. I love having beautiful things, making beautiful things, and recognizing beauty in people (internal and external) and in the environment--whether natural (nature) or created (homes, businesses, etc). It's kind of a funny story--how I started thinking about this today. A mom and daughter and her two small children visited us to deliver a product I had ordered. It kind of embarassed the grandmother and mom when the 4-year-old came in and said "wow, this is nice." They apologized and explained that their priorities are elsewhere, not on furniture or decorating.I kind of felt like I had to apologize for being a neat freak; because during the conversation I said I'd had a lot of family here the day before, and messes and fingerprints, but I wasn't one to leave it--I like to get things back to my "normal," which is organized and clean. When Chelsea was telling me the conversation she had with her friend (the daughter) today, she was explaining how her friend said her mom told her she is sorry for not having a nicer place for her to visit, and that her mom doesn't try to be someone she is not. Chelsea said "my mom doesn't try to be someone she is not either, for as long as I can remember, she would rather clean the toilet even if it's not really dirty, or work on something in her house." Chelsea said to me--"I know you don't like to watch t.v.", and that has been pretty much true for my whole life. For me, t.v. is wasting time I could use in doing something productive.
All this led me to thinking about how it is o.k. to be who we are. I crave beauty--spiritual beauty, physical beauty, and peace. My bliss is cleanliness, decorating, and organization. A perfect night would be to sit in a just-cleaned room and knit or read a deep book!
A movie Tom and I watched one night had a "stager" in it. She was a helper to the realtor. She would go into a vacated home and bring in furniture and decorations and "stage" the place so it looked as if a family or couple lived there, so it would sell. I am a "stager." I would love to be a "stager" after I retire from preschool/teaching. I could "stage" for a magazine, a realty company, or private individuals having a party. Attention to detail is one of my gifts, and this is my bliss. I don't have to apologize!!! :)
wow it is so good to hear someone say this. I often feel guilty for having a clean house. But I just can't really relax until I do. Great to hear someone say what I think sometimes!
ReplyDelete